I’ve got to admit the past few months have been hard. I feel like my life has been dumped upside down, stepped on, kicked, punched, chewed up and then spit out. I knew adding another kiddo to my life would be hard, but this hard? I had no clue.
Before having Collin, several people told me it was going to be great having the boys so close in age (20 months). While yes, I’m sure it will eventually be great. But right now? It’s hard. Since Owen still can’t fully communicate his needs, he gets frustrated quickly. He also has difficulty understanding why the baby would get held more often. Or why he gets so much of mommy’s attention.
I’ve recently been wondering what sleeping through the night feels like. I’m going on about month 8 of not sleeping through the night (due to pregnancy and baby).
This past month we were plagued with sickness. Owen got a cold, which I caught. Then my cold turned into pneumonia. With a low immune system I ended up getting the flu at the same time. So, while I was quarantined at my house, the kids stayed at my parents’ house so they wouldn’t get sick. Then, once I started to feel remotely better, Ian caught the flu and Owen got pink eye. Fortunately, the kiddos didn’t catch the flu (fingers crossed they still don’t) and stayed relatively healthy. It was a 3 week hell of sickness. Thank goodness for grandparents.
Working on my blog has been almost impossible. Every free time I have, I’m either finishing teaching requirments, working with the boys, cleaning the house, attempting to cook dinner, or possibly (if I’m lucky) taking a shower. My dog June has not had a walk in seemingly years and exercising myself has stopped completely.
BUT, I have to say I see (albeit a small) light at the end of the tunnel. This past weekend was the first in many where everyone in our household was relatively healthy. Plus, we have been able to get Collin on a nap schedule, so the use of the Bjorne was decreased immensely. Owen has started using his “big boy” voice even if it’s between tantrums or screams for Bob the Builder. The concept of working out has entered my thoughts, I’ve showered most days this week, Owen got over his cold, and Collin has started giggling. Even though these are small wins, they are wins nonetheless.
Moral of the story: I’ve learned that while these wins may sound minuscule, they are momentous to me. I need to take anything that seems like a positive and run with it. The house is a disaster? At least my family is healthy and safe. We’re on our 4th night of takeout? At least we’re eating it as a family. Haven’t showered in days? I get to use the 4 bottles of dry shampoo my friend Erika gave me for my birthday. Owen screaming and having a total breakdown? It gives me a time to lay on the ground next to him and have a good cry myself. It totally weirds him out and actually gets him smiling and laughing again. While these wins may sound minimal. They are my wins to me. They are my new normal.